I'm back! It feels like I've been away for several weeks even if it was just for the weekend. I suppose it means that I been working too much for too long again. When RL goes on in 150 MPH small breaks feel like a neverending void. Lovely but scary :) I haven't eaten so much in years and we were almost alone on this mansion with a full staff waiting to be commanded. Pretty strange. I seldom think about how the night sky looks in the complete darkness of the countryside. I know I should remember it because I spent my first 15 years in the civilization backyard. Amazing though.
I also got lots of inspiration from the ruins around, the gardens and the 16th and 17th century interior design. I'm glad I had my new camera with me to take notes with. And I very happy that my wife gave us this gift.
One thing that I came thinking about is how hard it is for me to write in English. In my own language I'm not just a skilled writer and a real pain as a word and syntax police. I'm very, very good and quite a talented story teller. But in English and German I sucks. I can't express properly and always feel inferior and child-like when writing and talking. It's like an intellectual straitjacket. I always though it would be better with the years passing or when using different languages in work, but no. This is how good it gets and in some aspects it's a relive. :) It's a barrier that the real me never can breach and I'll try stop thinking about it. But then again it's kind of sad that I never will write the great NWN-stories and dialogues I know I can, because of this limitation.
The second thing is about work. What good does working do? It gives you the money to buy the food and other stuff, yes. But why is it so important to increase the growt. We have to work longer when we gets old. We have to work more every year. And then we have to work more efficient to increase the growth again. But why? When I took the train to a customer yesterday I looked at peoples faces. I must have looked at at least 400 people. Young, old, different sexes and backgrounds. Most of them were going to their jobs, some of them comming home and a few others without job. No one laughed, smiled, talked or looked relaxed. If mankind spends so much time working one would think it was a natural urge that gives satisifaction and therefore joy. Sort of like reproduction. But it doesen't looks so. Maybe I transfer my own feelings about being paid to work... or maybe free time, relaxing and having fun makes me think about things :)))
Next up - real modding stuff. Perhaps tomorrow there be screenies!
Have fun a work, school, home or where ever you go today!
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